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The view from the floor.

2010 June 11
by distracted daddy

Baby Crawling in Batman onesie

For the first month of manternity leave my daughter was immobile. She couldn’t move. You could sit her on the floor and she would just sit there. Sometimes she would fall over. Turn your back, turn around, she’s still there. That’s not the case anymore.

Now my daughter can crawl.

Put her on the floor. Turn your back, turn around, and she’s gone. Not far. Not across the street. A foot or two to the left. But she can move.

Before she crawled she would get in the push-up position and just kind of vibrate. Rocking back and forth. She really wanted to move, it looked like at any moment she would launch across the room like the tiniest and cutest of missiles. She never launched. She usually faceplanted.

Learning to crawl seemed difficult. My daughter would crawl a few steps and then collapse on the floor in a tired heap before continuing. She would crawl straight into furniture. She has no understanding of height restrictions. She keeps trying to crawl under the coffee table, but it’s too shallow. She should never be allowed to park a truck underground.

Now that she can move, I want to let her crawl wherever I go. However my wife has let me know that crawling is an in-house activity. I shouldn’t let my daughter crawl at the mall or on the sidewalk. Not even if she’s on a leash.

Different types of flooring are better suited for crawling than others. Hardwood flooring is slippery especially when matched with a full onesie. Wall-to-wall carpeting seems to be the best surface for crawling and trapping allergens. And if your flooring is linoleum covered in olive oil, you can buy special baby elbow pads and kneepads to further facilitate the grip. Either that or play a game of baby curling.

At a playgroup once, my daughter was crawling towards another baby. The other baby was crawling towards her. Their heads met in the middle. There was a cartoon clunking sound. It was like a car crash – only in slow motion and really cute. Other babies slowly crawled by, rubbernecking.

As she crawls, I often sit on the floor next to her. I know now what the underside of our dining room table looks like. I’ve found various misplaced items and noticed that our floors are really dirty. Not Hoarders-dirty, but “I should ask my wife to vacuum when she gets home”-dirty. Actually, I’m the one who does the vacuuming in our household. Though, when my wife gets home I should ask her to sew Swiffers onto our daughter’s onesies. I can’t sew.

3 Responses leave one →
  1. June 11, 2010

    “Not even if she’s on a leash.” Brilliant. Good, fun stuff!

  2. fenderbirds permalink
    October 18, 2010

    nice article, keep the posts coming

  3. December 5, 2012

    Thanks like your The view from the floor. | Distracted Daddy

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