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Full of chic.

2010 May 31
by distracted daddy

That diaper looks different doHuggies Denim Jean Diaperesn’t it? Like my daughter isn’t wearing a diaper at all, like she’s wearing a tiny pair of designer jeans. That’s because she’s wearing the new limited edition Huggies Denim Diapers. Yes, diaper jeans. Levi Strauss is spinning in his grave.

To clarify they aren’t actually made of denim. As you may know, cleaning poop out of real denim is neither pleasant nor easy. These are just diapers with a pattern on them to look like jeans. Those fake back pockets don’t work and that’s not hand stitching.

As a stay-at-home dad, the idea of diapers as outerwear is hugely appealing. That’s one less step in dressing the baby. My wife insists that our daughter is dressed in cute little outfits with matching tops and bottoms and shoes and accessories. I know little about fashion but I do know that jeans go with everything.

Wearing a t-shirt and jeans in public is more acceptable than pajamas or a onesie covered in formula. My wife doesn’t approve of the last two. She’s borderline on the t-shirt and jeans but that’s a classic outfit. You can’t argue with fashion.

I like how the coloring of the diaper denim is dark blue and not light blue. Dark denim is professional, it’s what hipsters wear to nightclubs with unstructured blazers. Light denim makes the diapers look like low-class cutoffs. Baby Daisy Dukes. Despite their brief popularity alongside the General Lee, cut-off jean shorts are the lowest form of jean apparel. Yes, even lower than bedazzled denim jumpsuits.

Are these jean diapers good diapers? You know how chocolate milk isn’t made with good milk because it’s chocolate. These diapers are about as good as a DIY diaper made of paper towel and scotch tape. But they look like jeans.

If you want absorbency put another diaper over the jean diaper. Then when you remove the outer diaper you can pretend that your baby is a never-nude. That was an Arrested Development reference if you missed it. I really hope you didn’t.

Before you judge me too much for buying poorly constructed fad diapers, they were on sale. And they’re limited edition. That makes them an investment. Years from now I’m putting these diapers on eBay and making a mint. It doesn’t matter if they’re already used, with jeans that look is called distressed.

4 Responses leave one →
  1. June 1, 2010

    At least you bought them on sale! I was sucked in by the commercials and bought them ‘just because’ they were new and sort of cool. But, like the Huggies thong of SNL fame, they don’t hold a thing but look great doing it. So what if I have to change her diaper every hour? Fashion isn’t comfortable or useful ;-)

  2. June 1, 2010

    Oh my, that is different. My kids are long since out of diapers so I don’t have to worry about it. But I suppose that if they still needed them this would be of interest.

  3. Kate permalink
    August 6, 2010

    Right on the money with dark denim, chocolate milk, nevernudes… I laughed :)

  4. November 27, 2012

    I love blogging and i can say someone to also love blogging.
    *;,~-

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