Full of chic.
That diaper looks different doesn’t it? Like my daughter isn’t wearing a diaper at all, like she’s wearing a tiny pair of designer jeans. That’s because she’s wearing the new limited edition Huggies Denim Diapers. Yes, diaper jeans. Levi Strauss is spinning in his grave.
To clarify they aren’t actually made of denim. As you may know, cleaning poop out of real denim is neither pleasant nor easy. These are just diapers with a pattern on them to look like jeans. Those fake back pockets don’t work and that’s not hand stitching.
As a stay-at-home dad, the idea of diapers as outerwear is hugely appealing. That’s one less step in dressing the baby. My wife insists that our daughter is dressed in cute little outfits with matching tops and bottoms and shoes and accessories. I know little about fashion but I do know that jeans go with everything.
Wearing a t-shirt and jeans in public is more acceptable than pajamas or a onesie covered in formula. My wife doesn’t approve of the last two. She’s borderline on the t-shirt and jeans but that’s a classic outfit. You can’t argue with fashion.
I like how the coloring of the diaper denim is dark blue and not light blue. Dark denim is professional, it’s what hipsters wear to nightclubs with unstructured blazers. Light denim makes the diapers look like low-class cutoffs. Baby Daisy Dukes. Despite their brief popularity alongside the General Lee, cut-off jean shorts are the lowest form of jean apparel. Yes, even lower than bedazzled denim jumpsuits.
Are these jean diapers good diapers? You know how chocolate milk isn’t made with good milk because it’s chocolate. These diapers are about as good as a DIY diaper made of paper towel and scotch tape. But they look like jeans.
If you want absorbency put another diaper over the jean diaper. Then when you remove the outer diaper you can pretend that your baby is a never-nude. That was an Arrested Development reference if you missed it. I really hope you didn’t.
Before you judge me too much for buying poorly constructed fad diapers, they were on sale. And they’re limited edition. That makes them an investment. Years from now I’m putting these diapers on eBay and making a mint. It doesn’t matter if they’re already used, with jeans that look is called distressed.