Yes, You’re Going to Be a Dad, But What About Your Life?
You may remember Kevin Nealon from his stint on Saturday Night Live as the host of Weekend Update between Adam Sandler’s nonsensical songs and Victoria Jackson’s cartwheels.
If I say “Hans and Franz” and you don’t respond with “And we’re here to pump… you up” then you probably don’t remember Kevin Nealon from SNL. If so, you may be too young to have a baby.
Kevin Nealon is also the star of the television show Weeds, which I’ve heard is a great show. My wife and I have been meaning to watch it; it’s on our list we just have to get through Battlestar Galactica, The Sopranos, Deadwood, Freaks and Geeks, and a few others before we watch it.
Kevin Nealon is also a father. You may have surmised this from the title of his first book, Yes, You’re Pregnant, But What About Me? Surprisingly, with a title like that, he’s still a married father.
Unlike my foray into fatherhood, Kevin Nealon became a dad at the age when my dad was almost a granddad. He became a dad in his 50s. His early 50s, but still 50s, as in his mailbox contained the AARP Bulletin and a subscription to Pregnancy magazine.
His book includes some career stories, a detour along the way with his first wife who did not want to have kids, and the disturbing imagery of Kevin Nealon working out half-naked in his garage.
But most of the book is about fatherhood and the requisite fears that accompany fatherhood. There are a lot of fears: What if the baby looks like me and not my wife? Am I too old to be a father? Will Arnold Schwarzenegger be upset at my portrayal of his “distant cousin” Hans?
That last question weighs heavily on all fathers. Fortunately, Arnie wasn’t upset.
From his days on SNL we follow Kevin to his wife’s pregnancy, where Kevin, like most husbands acts as a mere bystander in the final act. He’s given the important task of creating the birthing playlist and manning the ipod while his wife contracts and labours.
Spoiler alert, the book ends with Kevin Nealon becoming a father which is great, because Kevin Nealon already looks like a dad. If I were to cast a family sitcom, Kevin Nealon would be a good casting spec for suburban father.
Is Kevin Nealon a good father? Maybe. The book ends with the birth of his child. There’s no sequel, no It’s Your Turn to Entertain the Toddler complete with a new picture of Kevin Nealon looking tired and harried.
I’ll just assume that he’s a good father. No one wants to read about a father’s daily trial and tribulations with their toddler, right?