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Hooked

2011 May 16
by distracted daddy

The Mommy Hook

If you’ve ever gone rock climbing, you know what a carabiner is. It’s a small metal loop that you can quickly clip on between your harness and the other various climbing ropes. “Various climbing ropes” is an exclusive rock climbing term.

A carabiner is not however exclusive to rock climbing. It’s used in other high intensity and similarly dangerous activities like caving, spelunking, zip-lining and grocery shopping with a stroller. The latter can vary in degrees of danger depending on how well-rested the strollee is.

The Mommy Hook is a carabiner. Sorry, it’s a large carabiner sold at a premium wherever other carabiners aren’t found. The development and marketing of it is actually quite ingenious. Because it’s just a carabiner sold for a different purpose. There’s virtually no change or alteration to the design of a carabiner. If you wanted to you could just buy a large carabiner and use it like the Mommy Hook, if you didn’t receive a Mommy Hook as a giving birth door prize.

Don’t get me wrong, it does its job perfectly and is a handy stroller accessory. It’s just the name “Mommy Hook” is demeaning to men who push strollers aka fathers. Also, remind me never to use the term “stroller accessory” around the guys either.

It’s not called the Daddy Hook or the Baby Hook or the Stroller Hook, or even the Giant Expensive Carabiner. According to semantics, I’m not supposed to use it. Or when I use it, I’m supposed to hang my head in shame and hope people misread it as the Tommy Hook.

Gender issues aside, the Mommy Hook is a terrible name. It sounds like a Showtime movie about a mother turning to prostitution.

“When the bills were too much, this stay-at-home mom found a new gig. Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall in The Mommy Hook. A Showtime Original.”

There’s no reason for it to have a gender-specific name. It’s not like it’s a tampon or lipstick. It’s a hook to hang groceries from your stroller. A stroller that a man or a woman or a man transforming into a woman could push. Pushing a stroller doesn’t require a uterus, it requires coordination and force. Making a little person to go into the stroller, now that requires a uterus.

5 Responses leave one →
  1. May 16, 2011

    AWESOME review. I love a man who calls a spade a spade. The name is a little exclusive isn’t it, as in excluding daddys, nannys, grannys, grandpas etc. You should market a rival product, maybe a “Big F Off Stroller Caribiner”. That may be more of a UK expression if it sounds absurd.
    Anyway, very funny :)
    (also..it’s not a hook, at all)

  2. May 16, 2011

    I agree. Love my hook, think the name is stupid. And everyone on this side of the pond doesn’t really understand why I have it…

  3. May 16, 2011

    Thanks Chloe. Great idea for the rival product. I’m pretty sure the expression translates over here. Also, it’s more of a clip, isn’t it?

    Fancy, I know. Works well. Badly named.

  4. March 24, 2013

    I’d like to get MUCH better at fitting in sleeves

  5. May 9, 2013

    Hi Kes,
    If the issue is actually a username/password issue and you won’t be able to log in then I’m not sure what’s wrong. I tested it a second ago and it seemed to be working fine. Could you check all over again and see if it’s ok now?

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